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Tuesday, May 1st, 2007
7:13 pm
So in new news, Connor broke up with me about a week ago so I've been devastated.. We went out for over 9 months so yeah a bit annoying lol. Everything reminds me of him! and it doesn't help that he's never seen around uni without his new bitch..
The crappy thing is that it wasn't even a bad break up, like we had a great chat and both cried lots and everything and we both still love each other!? It's so STUPID. It makes it worse! he said he was feeling restless like he thought i was 'perfect' (haha) but he didn't want to settle down yet. But also that he didn't want to break up with me because it would hurt too much. But that's where the other girl comes in.. they got drunk with a group of jazz people the night before at the burswood and she told him that she likes him and he talked to her about not wanting to settle yet (the night before he even talked to me about it! Which is ridiculous!!!) and I assume he told her that he liked her too (he told me that he liked her..). I mean WTF! My heart is practically ripped out of my chest in a matter of seconds!
So obviously after he told me that there wasn't really anyway we could stay together.

I wish I'd never fallin in love with him because it hurts too f***ing much. I mean could they rub it in my face anymore? one day everything is perfect and fine and LITERALLY the next day I am replaced by some other girl. How could he even say that he loved me in the first place?

I do understand, I mean if he felt like that then there is no way that he could stay with me. And i understand the 'need' to 'experience' life (and other women? fuck...) but that doesn't change how much it hurts.

I don't even know how I feel half the time. I'm just totally confused - i think I'm still in shock.

Anyways, I know I'll be fine in a matter of time.. But that doesn't really help me now.

current mood: depressed

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Friday, March 9th, 2007
10:56 am
So, I'm kind of freaking out considering I have a week to go before i am sent to a still unknown school to TEACH! Yeah no observing days for us really, we're just shoved up there in front of a class and expected to educate.. I wish i knew what school i was going to. At least then i could prepare myself! I am excited but really scared too. And stressed because i have SO much work to do and for those 2 weeks i can't go to my non-education classes which makes me so far behind.. and I'm complaining on here when i should be working? Anyways.. I'm going to practise now!!

current mood: sleepy and stressed

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Sunday, February 18th, 2007
9:08 pm - Blog for Amy
Hello Amy. This is my blog to you. My number one fan and reader. haha.

My time-table this year so far:

Mon: 3:30-6:30: Advance studies in music 5 (which i have been told is very frustrating because we are mixed in with the minor students so it's slow and boring... :S)
7:30-9:30: Considering Micheal allows me, this is Eneksis time. It's a choir i was in last year and a bit of the year before. It's like advance chorale singing and lots of fun but I can't do the Thursday rehearsal so I'm not sure he'll let me do it.

Tues: 2-4: Classical history and culture, basically 2nd year history i have to take because i failed in my first year because i refused to write essays. Not such a smart thing to do in hindsight..
3:30-5:30: Acting 3 with other singers but we are hopefully changing this to Friday which will be good seen these 2 units clash :S

Wed: 9:30-12:30: drama, another unit i was meant to take last year but didn't. It's my teaching minor which is great since i LOVE acting :)
1:30/2:30/3:30: i choose a time for a history tute

Thurs: 8:30-11:30: Music education 1
12:30-3:30: drama curriculam - how to teach drama i think
Then work! :( i wish i could come learn Salsa with you guys!

Fri: 9:30-10:30: Principal and practises of teaching lec
12:30-2:30: " " tut
3:30-5:30: Acting 2 - hopefully do this instead of acting 3.

So i have no idea how im going to concentrate for three hours for most of my lectures.. thats crazy! I'm so sad about leaving WAAPA and almost regretting what I'm doing.. but we'll say. im sure i'll have fun especially doing so much acting :D and i'm auditioning for 'the importance of being Earnest' and 'Eurobeat' this weekend so hopefully i'll have a show to do and that will keep me distracted.

I'm off anyway, hopefully my mood will change for the better once classes start in a week.

current mood: worried

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Monday, February 5th, 2007
12:52 am
1:50am and i have an appointment at 9:30 tomoz to sort out what the hell i am doing this year. but i thought i'd just update.. for no particular reason considering no-one reads this (i''ll read it when im 62 and amuse myself i suppose). Well to do with the previous issue, those were the worst 5 days of my life but we are still together and all the better for it :) It was rocky there for a while, and in retrospect i can see I was a lot more into him but I am FINALLY melting his heart made of ice (haha that makes him sound GREAT). basically he had issues before me so its really hard for him to open up to me emotionally but we've talked about it and the last month or 2 has been great. we're so much closer. I have nothing to complain about except the SMOKING which i want to KILL him for everytime i hear or see him do it. he 'only does it when he's drunk' but how pathetic is that? i promised myself i'd never go out with a smoker.. But he's a stubborn ass so i just have to deal with it (ie stop myself abusing him about it.. physically and verbally). It will probably become an issue especially if he gets worse. In other news, for part of his christmas present to me he bought me a sailing cruise thing which we went on on friday (day thing to carnac island). SO great! sea lions and dolphins!! *sigh* only regret is no camera :(

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, i have no idea what i'm doing this year - either going to be very full on or basically part time... but my appointment 2moz morning is all about that so im going to bed!! (clever girl..)

Will probably be a few years b4 i write in here again so HAVE A GREAT TIME :D

Love to all xxx

current mood: giddy

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Wednesday, November 8th, 2006
5:33 pm
So hello again everyone, or at least hello Weezie because i know you'll read this haha.
Well right now i should be writing an assignment which of course is why I'm on here instead procrastinating.. SO ANYWAY i am having the SHITTEST week so far. Mainly because i'm pretty much head over heals for my boyfriend but i think he's getting over me. So i've been really scared and upset...
Well the story is that last week and mainly on monday just gone i noticed Connor was basically sick of me.. like we weren't talking properly etc.. anyway so i messaged him that night saying i was upset and he asked what was wrong and i said that i had this meeting with Suess2 the musical and i wanted to kill half the ppl there (which is true, that happened on Monday night) and also that i felt like he was sick of me. and he sent back "i dont know how i feel at the moment. obviously something needs to change. maybe some time to myself. i dunno, ill ring you tomorrow xx" so obviously upon receiving that i start blubbering to myself at home. anyway he called yesterday and we talked. first of all im not aloud to msg him cause he hates messages. Also We need to see each other much less (which i kind of agree with coz we've seen each other pretty much everyday for 4 months). He also said "I'm trying to find a way to say this without sounding harsh but last night i thought maybe i didn't like you at all anymore but then i realized that i'd really miss you if we broke up" which is good but i still feel like i like him way more than he likes me hey... We decided that i'd see him on this Sunday.. which is a long time to wait and i'm really scared he's gonna break up with me then. cause i know he wants it to work but 5 days is a long time and maybe he'll realize he can be without me.. anyway it really sucks cause all i wanted was to fall in love with someone and now i have and its probably going to end cause he doesnt love me. and i dont even know WHY i love him-there's so many things about him that are so stupid.. but i can't help it. anyway i just have to get through these 5 days and then hopefully HOPEFULLY he'll still want me on Sunday... i'm really scared!

love Mareeree PS the sex is great too...

current mood: gloomy/scared

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Wednesday, June 21st, 2006
3:01 am
its been a long time since i wrote in here.. i just went back and read some stuff id written before. MAN I AM AWESOME!

Um a lot has happened i spose but who really cares? Atm main issues are being in love with this awesome awesome guy.. but unfortunately he is very unavailable with a 3 and a half yr old gf.. yes he is a pedophile. No wait. He isn't, he just has had a gf for a long time. Doesn't he realise you need change! i mean really!! anyways.. will talk more soon.. must dash.. its 3am and mums getting angry ;) love you all!!! xxx

current mood: loved

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Sunday, January 15th, 2006
12:49 am - The much awaited information is finally at hand...

My penis's new name is Darth Vader the Nuclear Powered Arse Prodder.
Take Name Your Penis by badasstronaut. today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

current mood: pleased

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Tuesday, January 10th, 2006
8:57 pm
So sick of my mum. “I’m turning on the Internet for an hour and then I’m turning it off” “who did you get a message from?” “What are you doing?” “Get a job” “Get a job” Get a job” “Why do you lock your door?”
It’s not like parents are bad people. But they’re so annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And they never listen to what you say. They always know what’s best for you and what you have to do. And they always think they know how you’re thinking.

I’m just another typical teenager aren’t I?

I wish I were more ambitious. I really do wish I were more like my parents wanted me to be. I wish I tried hard at every subject and studied all the time and really wanted a job and EVERYTHING. But I’ve always had this carefree attitude. I’ve never cared about much with my whole heart. Except for love.

This is a song that john Denver sings with Placido Domingo. I like it.

Perhaps love…
Perhaps love is like a resting place, a shelter from the storm. It exists to give you comfort, it is there to keep you warm. And in those times of trouble, when you need it most of all, the memory of love will bring you home.
Perhaps love is like a window, perhaps an open door, it invites you to come closer, it wants to show you more. And even if you lose yourself and don’t know what to do, the memory of love will see you through.
Oh love, for some, is like a cloud, for some as strong as steel. For some a way of living, for some a way to feel. And some say love is holding on, and some say letting go. And some say love is everything, and some say they don’t know.
Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflict, full of pain. Like a fire when it’s cold outside, thunder when it rains. If I should live forever and all my dreams come true, my memories of love will be of you.
And some say love is holding on, and some say letting go. And some say love is everything, and some say they don’t know.
Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of comfort, full of pain. Like a fire when it’s cold outside, thunder when it rains. If I should live forever and all my dreams come true, my memories of love will be of you.

current mood: annoyed

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8:53 pm - audition
So... I have an audition on this Sunday. 6:50pm. Wonderful. *Sigh* still not sure what I’m going to sing. I have three choices pretty much... Miss Byrd (saucy song about a lady who has sex etc. during work but none of her co-workers realise it), The Warthog (a cute song about a lady warthog that wants to be loved but “no-one ever wants to court a warthog”) and the step-sisters lament from Cinderella (why do fellows always choose the pretty, lovely, nice, kind, happy, graceful, charming, bubbly and dainty kind of girls?). I don’t want to choose wrong because I felt like I choose the wrong song for my showcase, which sucked. But I mean that didn’t matter all that much because it wasn’t really going towards anything much and the song wasn’t terrible. I wrong choice here though could lead to not getting in at all :P I mean I sound different in every song; I can be very different in lots of things I sing. So what the hell do they WANT? Lol oh well. Wish me luck :P

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Monday, January 9th, 2006
7:52 pm
I'm at weezies atm making CUP CAKES. well actually we already made them and ate them and it was niiiice. greeeeeen icing. we made them for snape's birthday.



byebye xxx

current mood: indescribable

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Friday, January 6th, 2006
3:33 pm
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

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Thursday, January 5th, 2006
11:58 pm
i was looking through my stories just now and found this which i wrote for weezie last holidays for her to read on the plane to london. i am so awesome. its so funny. well to me anyway. read away my pretties :)


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11:57 pm - sailing and cool
i have a sail boat and its awesome. i went on the trapeze the other day-you lean out basically on the same line of the trampoline of the boat and scream coz its so fun and fast :) and im awesome at it coz i have a natural ability for living and so i rock at life and all aspects of it.
have a good sleep everyone! im off to rock on with my WEEZIE 2moro who is back from the gold coast :D woohoo! we is gonna have much fun and loving.

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Wednesday, January 4th, 2006
11:11 pm - Friendship=the world
Friends are so important. i dont think you really realise the meaning of friendship untill something happens to make you think of it.

Example? weezie going away and me not seeing her before she goes. i think i pissed her off (or i think i pissed you off cause i know you'll read this) which is fair enough. i mean, she's going away and i couldnt even find the time to spend a few measley hours with her? im really sorry weezie.
On Christmas eve, i dont know why, but i was just thinking about everything we've been through together. and i love you, i really truly do, well you know i do. do you know i have spent the week/s you've bin away reading your stories? the ones about your life you gave me? remember i printed them out? lol. i love the fact that we can just talk and talk and never exhaust of a topic. and i never get tired of listening to you or thinking about you (umm.. well except maybe when im having sex maybe babe ;)although to tell the truth.. ah.. what? im sleeping *snores*) cause your incredible and your life is incredible and you do things and have done things i wish i had the courage and the INCREDIBILITY to do! and youve experienced things i would never wish on my worst enemy.. anyway, i love you lots and cant wait till you get back and i can see you :) (A/N i am not gay. i am just a very happy person)

Another example of friendship... a year ago; well a year ago from the 31st of Jan (i dont have an amazing memory, it was on my old calendar for some reason) we had a huge group fight thing. i wont go into details but basically half of the group thought weezie was lieing about her whole life pretty much. all her experiences.. i mean i could understand why really. itz in weezies nature to only be really close to a few ppl and at school it was me. she told the others wat was happening in her life as a courtesy but she told me all the details. but because they didnt get details suddenly shes a compulsive liar. i wish.. i wish ppl had more faith in others. maybe its a bad thing. i trust in everyone first and formost. my trust is easily gained. probably means im gonna die some day from being raped or murdered or somewhat by who i thought was my lover but.. i dont care. still seems almost as if im putting on rainbow coloured glasses doesnt it? :P but im not, i dont.. im not blind to 'evil' or peoples faults. i just think there is good in everyone.. and you should ALWAYS above all try to see it from their point of view.

what a load of piffle ive written.. anyway, those guys should have realised that i knew she wasn't lieing. its a shame they didnt know each other better. they would have known she couldn't lie.

they should have never brought it up. because then we would still be friends. again with the rainbow coloured glasses? yeah maybe. but to tell the absolute truth, i would rather have them as friends then have known what they thought. maybe its living a lie but at least it was a nice one. At least they were a part of it.

current mood: discontent

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Monday, December 19th, 2005
2:54 pm - QuiZ?
May not work.. which shouldnt matter coz i think i sent it to most of you anyway.. but yes :)
Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

current mood: contemplative

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Monday, December 12th, 2005
5:10 pm - the age old question has finally been answered...

As a Gryffindor and as an NFP, you are idealistic,
loyal, and committed to doing what you know is
right. Creative, optimistic, and interested in
possibilities, you prefer to keep your options
open. You are curious, imaginative, and
perceptive. You value harmony highly, and are
excellent at resolving conflicts.

Hogwarts Sorting Hat: Based on Myers-Briggs Personality Typing
brought to you by Quizilla

current mood: accomplished

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Monday, November 14th, 2005
9:19 pm - Cho Chang
I have one thing to say...
Thankyou. xx

current mood: wild

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Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
7:47 pm - ...procrastinating...
ok well i had a music history essay due yesterday... aaaaand yeah i really ccb doing it. plus i didnt give in my first essay for this year which means to pass i have to get above 60% in everything else, which im doing easily .. apart from the essay. but because im doing a bachelor course that means that how well i do matters and history is the only subject im doing shit in because i am so lazy haven't bothered doing the essays... i do like history, its really interesting but whats the point of me only just passing when i know i could do so much better?

on other news... My 'boyfriend' broke up with me over a week ago.. it was very sudden and i was very confused. its good though i spose, i didnt really cry or anything and im not pining over him-i mean i knew he wasnt my true love or anything and i didnt at all think id be with him forever. but did he really have to do it so close to handing in a history essay?!? it just made me procrastinate even more... but thats just an excuse, i should have really been MUCH more organised. i should probably go write it hey...

Plus I've been so busy that i've seen NONE of weezie :( which sucks because there is much to talk about and do and etc. but at least we will both be finished soon!! i love you :) xx

*sigh* life is hard :P

should prolly go try and write that essay hey...
love yaz xxx

current mood: uncomfortable

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4:55 pm
<td align="center">You mostly resemble Axle Rose

You always want to be the center of attention, and if things don’t go your way, then you just walk away from the situation. You are very talented, but sometimes you let it get to your head.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

<td align="center">You have a sexual hidden talent

You have a sexual hidden talent. You might not look it but you are a dynamo in bed. Most of your lovers think that it is from years of practice, but really, you were just born with it.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

<td align="center">You were a band geek in high school

You were into staying late after school with your other band mates. You were into music and hooking up at random with your friends.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

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Monday, October 24th, 2005
12:23 am - why not?
<td> <table border="0" width="450" bgcolor="#000000">
You will to trick-or-treating with:

At Hogwarts
What will happen?
You will dress in drag and change your sexual orientation for the night
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

i should be doing my history essay but im procrastinating.. im such an idiot, im not going to finish it in time... ARGH oh well...

Awesome :)

current mood: nervous

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